More than my ...

I did another 6km run again matching my last one and it's unironically been a good boost to my mental. Knowing I've actually got it in me! The good running shoes & Hatsune miku strat works insanely well & I'll keep running with it until it stops working. lol.

This was another big personal week for me, lots of thinking, planning, and just doing shit. Trying to step up at work a little more and manage upwards. I do enjoy working on what I'm working on, but I've been in a bit of a slump lately over some of the practices we've been doing and how I feel like it's ineffective. I had a really yummy dinner with one of my coworkers and I kinda complained about it a bit and got hit back with the "yeah, but I feel like you can change that no?"¹ and she was right.

But honestly I've just been thinking a lot about myself, and what I actually do now. I had a great talk with my partner about how we're both no longer the people that the other person fell in love with - not like, in a shitty "its over" kinda way. But more of like, in a "oh fuck I'm boring now" kinda way. 3-4 years ago I used to do things and have hobbies on my own. But now I just feel like all I do is work and spend time with my partner. We've become like on amorphous entity lol². I need to rediscover who I am I think, and I've just been kinda head down working and ignoring it.

I plan to take a sabbatical at some point, I'll bring it up with work soon³. I don't plan on dipping right away - at least a couple months heads up before taking 3-6 months off. But I think I just need to do nothing for a little while. I went straight out of school and home into working full time for 8 years and never really had me time to trully figure me out. Like yeah, I eventually figured out HRT but that took a traumatic brain injury and a good support network. I feel like theres still more me that I need to discover. and I think I need time to figure that out.

I went out for Yumcha with a bunch of friends over the weekend and wore this new super-pretty dress! I felt super cute in it and got compliments :3c but by the end of the day I was DYING in the heels. Looking pretty hurts 🥀. But its worth it >:3

I also did some house keeping with my systems! I've dropped 1Password and Neovim for Vaultwarden and Helix!~⁴ So far I'm enjoying using both, but swapping something like a password manager is always a bit of a hassle even with CXP for passkey exchange (some didn't come over). Helix is also rlly chill & surprisingly "just works" for pretty much all my use cases. The main diff is dd is now xd - which I need 2 get used to lol.

I also found an archive of a bunch of old blog posts! So I've backfilled them on this site! The publishing dates aren't perfect, but they're close enough! The very first post ever from 2021 is available here! It's a post about how this site came out of a weird nvim config I had for "zen writing" lol, but now you can technically follow this sites whole arc! Including some of the chud bits⁵!

I also finally got around to doing some 3d modelling I've been wanting to do for a while for tools and fixes around the house. I really should make a page for all my silly prints haha.